I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
