Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
