Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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