So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
