my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
