He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had to cum in my sink.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
