she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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