i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think I am morally bankrupt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
