My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
