Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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