Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
