I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
vagina is talking i cant
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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