Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
