Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
