Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
