it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
