My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
