I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
