He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
