In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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