no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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