Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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