my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
