I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
