evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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