Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
