On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
