i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
