You're completely useless in the revolution.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
