found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
