Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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