i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
