She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
