we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
