I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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