I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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