Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
