His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
