is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
