Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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