piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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