Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize