For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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