Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
