i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
