I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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