Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
