Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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