We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
