Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
