Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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