5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
