so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
