quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
