I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
