jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
