the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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