Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
