So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Drake has all the answers
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
