He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize