ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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