The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
