it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
