Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
