the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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