um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
