new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
