he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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